Portland Makes New Attempt to Sit at the Lunch Table With the Cool Cities

Portland — Maine’s largest city is in the national spotlight for trying to sit at the cool kid table with the nation’s bigger cities.

Continue reading “Portland Makes New Attempt to Sit at the Lunch Table With the Cool Cities”

Writer for Maine Magazine Rescued After Accidentally Venturing 20 Miles Inland

Falmouth — Rescue teams concluded their search for a missing Maine Magazine columnist who wandered slightly outside Portland’s city limits.

Continue reading “Writer for Maine Magazine Rescued After Accidentally Venturing 20 Miles Inland”

Maine Lawmakers Say They Need More Time to ‘Really Fuck Up’ Legalized Marijuana Laws

Augusta — Maine politicians are seeking more time to write laws ensuring they do a really bad job with retail marijuana sales in the state. Continue reading “Maine Lawmakers Say They Need More Time to ‘Really Fuck Up’ Legalized Marijuana Laws”

Maine’s Republican Gubernatorial Hopefuls Begin Preparing Snowmobiles for Winter

Augusta — The 2018 race for governor of Maine has shifted into high gear, with Maine’s Republican candidates digging out their sleds from the barn to get them ready for the approach of winter.

Continue reading “Maine’s Republican Gubernatorial Hopefuls Begin Preparing Snowmobiles for Winter”

Hope for the Uninsured: This Bangor Man Will Sell Pain Pills to Anyone

Bangor — A local man is giving hope to the hopeless in central Maine by selling anyone pain pills, regardless of whether or not they can afford health insurance.

Continue reading “Hope for the Uninsured: This Bangor Man Will Sell Pain Pills to Anyone”

Lobsterman’s Mental Health In Question After Saying This Season Was ‘Not Too Terrible’

Stonington — Residents of this small fishing community are voicing their concerns over the mental state of local lobsterman Terry Brown, 74. Brown was heard telling someone from away the 2017 lobster season wasn’t bad for him.

Continue reading “Lobsterman’s Mental Health In Question After Saying This Season Was ‘Not Too Terrible’”

Experts Warn Maine Is Most Susceptible to Rising Massachusetts Levels

Augusta — Alarming new data shows Maine is in greater danger than previously believed from the threat of rising Massachusetts levels.

Continue reading “Experts Warn Maine Is Most Susceptible to Rising Massachusetts Levels”

Kid in South Portland Candy Store Disappointed by All the Shitty Artisanal Candies

South Portland– Twelve year-old Rangeley native Jeremy Thibodeau was excited when his parents promised him a trip to pick out a bag of candy on a visit to southern Maine. That excitement quickly turned to disappointment when he found himself inside South Portland candy store Chocolate Jesus.

Continue reading “Kid in South Portland Candy Store Disappointed by All the Shitty Artisanal Candies”

Susan Collins Holds Press Conference Announcing She Has a Great Selection of LuLaRoe Products to Fit Anyone’s Style

Rockport– During a packed breakfast press conference,  Maine Senator Susan Collins announced she is now an official LuLaRoe partner.

Continue reading “Susan Collins Holds Press Conference Announcing She Has a Great Selection of LuLaRoe Products to Fit Anyone’s Style”