Month: November 2017

Portland City Council Says Mayor Must Pay for Own Top Hat and Sash

Portland — Portland’s city council and mayor are once again butting heads, this time over provisions for the mayor’s professional accouterments.

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Embarrassed Angus King Can’t Turn Eyes Back From Dollar Signs After Meeting With Defense Contractors

Washington, D.C. — Maine Senator Angus King is currently undergoing observation by the Attending Physician of the United States Congress after his dollar-sign eyes failed to return to normal.

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