Huge Set-Back: No One Remembered to Burn Smudge Sticks at Belfast City Hall

New Meadows Auto Sales
Visit New Meadows Auto Sales

Belfast — City officials scrambled after they realized the negative vibes in city hall were the result of a forgotten cleansing ceremony.

All five members of Belfast’s city council, along with Mayor Samantha Paradis, had noticed a palpable unchill during council meetings, but were at a loss to explain it.

It wasn’t until the council laid out its chakra-aligning crystals that one of the council members realized the cosmic vibrations weren’t resonating.

“Nothing seemed to be working,” Mayor Paradis said.

“Not the Himalayan pink salt lamp, not the singing bowl, nothing was lifting us out of that deep down and dirty funk,” she said.

It was then the council realized no one had smudged city hall since the swearing-in ceremony earlier in the fall.

“All those negative vibes were still there,” said Paradis.

Fortunately several of the people in attendance at the council meeting that night were carrying emergency smudge sticks, and after a ceremony to rid the city hall of bad spirits was complete, everyone said the vibes felt “much more pure.”

The first order of business for the council was an emergency measure to approve funds to install emergency smudge sticks in city buildings to prevent future occurrences.

While tragedy was narrowly averted, the Belfast city council still ordered all Tibetan prayer flags to be flown at half-mast.

Like Maine’s hardest-hitting, real journalism? Consider supporting New Maine News on Patreon.

New Maine News hats are back!
New Maine News hats are back!

5 thoughts on “Huge Set-Back: No One Remembered to Burn Smudge Sticks at Belfast City Hall”

  1. Oh man, I heard it was gnarly. Everyone’s auras went from Ivory to Eggshell. Given a few more days, they’d have hit Beige.

  2. By the jim jams, if they’d given acupuncture to the powers that be, ol’ Samantha and the council would’ve had scrubbed trigger points & the energy would’ve flowed through ’em like a dose of salts through a heifer. Even better. a couple quarts of Belfast IPA and they’d have told the poltergeists “Smudge this”, had a good laugh as they voted themselves a pay raise.

Leave a Reply