Old Timer With Satellite Still Only Watches 4 Stations: ABC, CBS, NBC and Playboy Channel

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Mattawamkeag — Elmer Richardson, 81, remembers back when he felt lucky to get reception on 4 channels. With the introduction of affordable satellite television in the 1990s, those days are long gone.

Still, even though Richardson has access to hundreds of channels, some of which stream content on-demand, he still sticks to just four stations. It’s what he’s always known.

“I watch channel 2 for news, channel 5 for the soaps, and channel 7 for the comedies,” Richardson told us, referring to Bangor stations WLBZ, WABI, and WVII.

“But for porno nothing beats Playboy channel,” Richardson said with a lecherous smile.

The dirty old man never married and never had any children, but still finds time to sit with “his girls,” as he calls them.

“They’re something else,” he laughed, smacking his wet and disgusting lips while slapping his knee.

His nieces and nephews, who check in on Richardson out of a sense of familial duty, say their uncle often invites them to watch “stag movies” with him.

“Yeah, no. It’s disgusting. He’s disgusting,” niece Donna Hammond said.

“There’s nothing wrong with his hearing, but he pretends there is so he can turn the volume way up when he knows someone’s coming over,” Hammond said.

“If my father and mother hadn’t made me promise to help him out I’d never set foot in that nasty old man’s house.”

Richardson gave us a detailed list of the programs, models, and hosts he enjoys watching on the Playboy Channel, in horrific detail.

While most of his television time is spent watching pornography, Richardson still watches the news every day.

“I’ll tell you about which of them girls on the news I like,” he said. We declined his offer; however, he still told us anyway.

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One thought on “Old Timer With Satellite Still Only Watches 4 Stations: ABC, CBS, NBC and Playboy Channel”

  1. I wonder if he started out by watching the National Geographic Channel instead of National Geographic magazine? Hey now!

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