Maine Red Claws Mascot Seized by Wardens for Being Over the Size Limit

North Haven Brewery Co.
North Haven Brewing Co.

Portland — Wardens with the Maine Marine Patrol have taken custody of Crusher, mascot for Maine’s G-League basketball team the Maine Red Claws, for being too large.

“This is a conservation win for the people of Maine,” Officer Kevin Libby said during a press conference.

“For a lobster to grow as big as Crusher, not only does it come down to luck, but it takes hundreds of years.”

The Marine Patrol said by returning Crusher to the sea, he’ll help ensure a healthy population of lobster for the future.

“This is about sustainability. A lobster the size of Crusher is prime breeding age. He could be the father of a million pounds worth of lobsters over the next decade.”

The maximum allowed size allowed in Maine, measuring the eye socket to the rear of the carapace, is 5 inches.

“Crusher measures over 7 times the legal limit.”

The owners of the basketball team were not available for comment, but Libby warned of the consequences.

“Not only could they lose their fishing license, they risk losing their boat, their truck, and suffering some serious fines. Not worth it at all.”

Crusher was taken to Casco Bay, where he is believed to have been caught, for release.

Upon hitting the icy water of the bay, Crusher began splashing and thrashing around, quite violently.

“They usually do that when they’re excited to feel their home water again,” Libby said as he pushed the Crusher under the surface.

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3 thoughts on “Maine Red Claws Mascot Seized by Wardens for Being Over the Size Limit”

  1. Someone ought to check Officer Ken Libby’s license. Everyone knows that lobsters do not thrash violently when pushed into cold water; matter of fact, they don’t have to be pushed – they slide in gratefully. No, I’m afraid ol’ Ken was pushing Crusher into a vat of steaming water so he and his family and fellow Marine Patrol Wardens could have a mid-winter feast whilst yakking it up about conservation, etc. The Red Claws are the victims here.

  2. “For a lobster to grow as big as Crusher, not only does it come down to luck, but it takes hundreds of years.” ” A lobster the size of Crusher is prime breeding age.” So he’s hundreds of years old and prime breeding age. Boy, I wish I was a lobster sometimes!

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