Augusta — Findings released by the Maine Institute for Rural Driving are being heavily criticized for claiming seatbelts are over-rated.
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“According to our studies, if you put on your seatbelt and the driver says ‘Dude, I promise I won’t crash,’ and then laughs at you, you should be just fine.”
The findings also cover instances when a passenger buckles up and the driver asks if they don’t trust their driving skills.
“If they say that, or ‘Oh, I guess I’m a scary driver now?,’ you don’t want to look like a pansy, so it’s best to give them your trust.”
The findings are being questioned by everyone from the governor’s office to Maine school children.
But the Institute says not only are seatbelts unnecessary, they can even be harmful.
“Our study posed a hypothetical situation in which the car was in a lake and you needed to make a hasty exit. In this thought-experiment, we determined the seatbelt would just get in the way, causing more harm than good.”
Again, every agency contacted said the study is “awful,” and mountains and mountains of evidence exist showing seatbelts save countless lives each year.
Researchers from the Institute for Rural Driving have been involved in other studies beyond just seatbelts. They determined chainsaw chaps just slow you down if you need to run from a tree, and steel-toe boots will cut your toes off and are more dangerous than non-steel toe.
On top of those studies, they also determined you can still smoke weed even if you’ve had enough as long as your friend says “come on, dude, one more.”