Augusta — State officials announced the annual terrorist hunting lottery in Maine will once again issue permits for all applicants.
This marks the seventeenth consecutive year the permit lotto has awarded terrorist hunting permits to everyone who wants one, officials said.
Strong moose populations might lead to an increase in awarded permits as much as 20%. Officials cite a decline in ticks giving moose numbers a boost. That boost is reflected in awarded permits.
The 100% terrorist hunting permit number is due to many factors: a broad definition of terrorism, a blank check for government overreach, and the incredible unlikelihood of anyone with a terrorist hunting permit ever encountering a terrorist.
“Few, if any, people with terrorist hunting permits leave the country. In fact, most of them never leave the town they live in,” one official stated.
The state is also continuing its relaxed attitude toward applying.
“You don’t even need to enter the official lottery for a number,” officials said.
“Just find a dusty gas station and there’s probably one in by the checkout.”
Maine has a vested interest in terrorist hunting, owing a large part of its economy to the war on terror.
“These people with their permits don’t realize it, but we give millions and millions in tax breaks to defense contractors right here in Maine. It would be a lot harder to justify if we weren’t at war constantly.”