Orono– A new study shows Maine’s Baby Boomers leading the state in high praise for Maine Baby Boomers.
The study, commissioned by the Institute for Baby Boomer Self-Impressment, showed overwhelmingly Boomers know what’s best.
“This is a large survey, with almost every Boomer in Maine taking part,” said statistician Jerry Smith, himself a Boomer.
“The results are not surprising. Compared to other generations, ours is better in every way,” he said.
However, the survey doesn’t get into any details as to what makes Boomers superior, it simply shows beyond a shadow of a doubt just how Maine Boomers view themselves.
The best music, culture, political movements, and stimulating intellectual conversations about Boomers can all be attributed to Boomers, according to the survey of Boomers.
“We protested Vietnam,” Smith said, “and the Civil Rights movement was 100% us. We’re extremely important.”
The survey had other surprising results, such as showing Boomer’s taste in music is “the absolute best,” in spite of most Boomer-era rock bands having stolen their music from Southern blues musicians who died in obscurity.
“Basically, we’re great, and Gen X, the Millennials, and the younger generations will never meet our level of excellence, according to these results.”
The Boomer survey also hinted the generation is searching far and wide for future Boomer political candidates who are completely unpalatable.
“It’s what we’re best at.”