Exhausted Keith Carson Tormented by Phantom Storm Center Theme

Portland — News Center Maine¬†meteorologist Keith Carson hasn’t enjoyed a full night of sleep in weeks, but it not because of a newborn baby.

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Each night as Carson drifts off to slumber, he’s ripped back into the harshness of the real world by the slow swell of the Storm Center string section.

The swelling, ominous tune that lets Mainers know News Center is on high-weather alert is haunting the meteorologist, and no one can hear it save him.

“I know the storm season is over. I’m a professional. Yes, it’s still cold, but why is this happening to me?” Carson reportedly screamed to the sky in an exhausted state of anger and fear.

No one else on the News Center Maine staff has reported similar hauntings, although several people said they had visions of Don Carrigan, mustache loaded with icicles, reporting live from his back deck, before waking up drenched in sweat.

Part of the madness Carson is experiencing stems from what he believes is a focused effort to discredit him, but he’s not sure from who.

“If not by my enemies here on Earth, then perhaps my enemies in the otherworldly Weatherrealm to which all meteorologists must someday travel.”

While Carson’s wife is concerned for her husband, she has never heard the phantom theme, but she did wake one morning to find all of Carson’s Storm Center sweaters laid out in the front yard.

“Keith kept saying ‘MR. OTS.’ Over and over again.” It wasn’t until she saw the sweaters reflected in the window she realized they were laid out to spell ‘STORM.’


4 thoughts on “Exhausted Keith Carson Tormented by Phantom Storm Center Theme”

  1. Meteorologeists. Probably picked one up from a weathermap greenscreen that wasn’t properly exorcised. They’ve got a tincture in Weatherrealm that’ll clear that right up.

  2. Yup. That’s why them weathermen are uniquely qualified to read off the winning lotto numbers.

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