Primestar Satellite Dish Removal Tops Maine Dads’ Spring To-Do Lists for 20th Straight Year

Statewide — With the weather finally showing promise of spring, Mainers across the state are putting away their snow shovels and getting their spring-cleaning tools ready.

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Once again, dads across the state of Maine have made taking down the old Primestar satellite dish a top priority.

Primestar, a satellite service formed in 1991, was sold to competitor DirecTV in 1999, and its equipment was phased out.

However, many, if not all Primestar subscribers from the 1990s still have the dish attached to their homes.

Generally speaking, the only dishes that have been removed were either staked into the ground or nailed haphazardly to trees long since toppled.

Maine dads say this is the year they finally get “those damn ugly things” off the “goddamn house.”

“Once the weather breaks and I can borrow a ladder,” Maine dads were quoted as saying. However, some remain skeptical.

“He’s been saying that since they shut us off back in 1997,” one woman told us. “Every spring it’s the same thing.”

Often the Primestar dish is mounted close to a more modern DirecTV dish, something many Maine dads say makes them change their mind about removing the Primestar.

“Worried it might mess up the reception on the dish, and it takes them guys a hundred years to come out to adjust it,” one Maine dad said.

Maine grandfathers report they’re going to get rid of the large C-band satellite dish in the dooryard “Once the price of scrap metal comes up again.”


2 thoughts on “Primestar Satellite Dish Removal Tops Maine Dads’ Spring To-Do Lists for 20th Straight Year”

  1. Tried to take one out once – but when you start backin’ out the bolts, the roof begins to leak. In some places in Maine, these things are actually holdin’ the roof on! You can get real creative and remove the azimuth bolts, and it makes a dandy wind vane.

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