Mainers Turn Out in Record Numbers to Vote Not for Shawn Moody

Statewide — Election Day 2018 was one for the record books, with voter turnout at its highest point in recent history as voters turned out in a close race to vote for someone who wasn’t Shawn Moody.

“I wanted my voice to be heard,” said a first-time voter from Bath, “and that meant making sure everyone knew I was going to the polls to vote for anyone other than Shawn Moody.”

The results were close, with Moody, the Republican candidate, receiving 43% of the vote, and two candidates who were not Shawn Moody receiving the remainder.

“All I know is I didn’t want more of LePage,” said Portland voter Jaysin Robichaud, “Moody was just more LePage, so I voted for someone else.”

Robichaud couldn’t recall off-hand who he voted for, but he was certain it wasn’t Moody.

“Definitely not Moody. I think it was a woman I voted for?”

Robichaud, and thousands of others who voted based on whether or not a candidate was Shawn Moody, was surprised when he learned the results of last night’s election.

“Wait, Janet Mills is our next governor? Jesus Christ.”

New Maine News hats are back!
New Maine News hats are back!

15 thoughts on “Mainers Turn Out in Record Numbers to Vote Not for Shawn Moody”

  1. Pop politics? Coastal strip, primarily immature progs. and newly franchised women voted for D’s and Mills; while the rest of the State voted for Moody. They goit statehouse, senate and house and now are responsible for anything bad that happens and undelivered promises, corruption, scandals, etc.

    1. Happy to receive this. Your stuff is gooder than that fish wrapper out of Portland (or Bangor, or Loy-sten). Nothing could be better than the litany that “Lan Man” describes. More like the Clampetts arriving in Hollywood to cook up some innards for the Country Club and Yacht Club crowd. Grab your ankles citizen, you won’t know what hit you, but it will hurt and they won’t love you in the morning.

    1. The Scarborough school board tried hard to fill the void, too, but there’s nothing to compare with New Maine News. We missed you!

  2. Brother…we miss you here. Hope you are back for awhile. Otherwise go FKYURSLF and live with lepage and the toxic red tide in Fl.

  3. See, no one unsubscribed with your farewell message because we knew you would be back.

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