Whitefield – An alarming report from town officials in Whitefield shows religious extremists are flocking to the area in record numbers.
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The population of devout followers of a foreign religious sect has quadrupled in size since the first extremists arrived in 2017. Many in the area are concerned.
“This isn’t the Maine I grew up in,” said Jeremy Thibedeau of Jefferson. “They live closer to the Maine my grandfather grew up in, actually, but they don’t swear or drink at all.”
“How in the hell do you get any farming done without swearing?” Thibedeau’s grandfather, Lloyd Thibedeau, wondered. “It ain’t right.”
Some politicians are concerned about the rising population of extremists relocating to Maine. One representative cited the population’s refusal to assimilate to our culture.
“They don’t want anything to do with how Mainers are living, but they want us to buy their gourds? We need to put Mainers first” the representative warned.
The representative, who wished not to be named, is sponsoring a bill to outlaw bonnets.