When This Young Couple Fell on Hard Times, Their Small Community Banded Together to Talk Shit Behind Their Backs

North Haven — After a series of events leading to financial hardship befell one couple, this small town came together to talk behind their backs about how it was probably their fault, anyway.

“Funny how they suddenly don’t have any money, supposedly, but I saw on Facebook they had supper at Applebee’s last week,” one community member said. “Maybe if they were better with their money they wouldn’t be in this scrape?”

John and Mary Smith’s financial troubles began after an illness, causing missed work and a loss of pay. A helpful neighbor organized a hot meal program, leaving a sign up sheet at the local store.

“Wish I could have people make me a hot supper,” one supporter said. “Must be nice. Maybe I’ll ‘throw my back out,'” he said, making finger quotes.

The comment was in reference to a rumored pain-pill addiction, originating with news of a 2-day 5mg Percocet prescription from the local clinic.

“I heard from someone in the know he’s been back four or five times for refills,” one local said.

Others in the community were quick to come to the aid of the couple.

“I can say this because I was the first one to stop over to their place when they were asking for help,” one helpful local told us.

“After being inside that house of theirs I have to say Mary isn’t much of a housekeeper.”

 

 

New Maine News hats are back!
New Maine News hats are back!

7 thoughts on “When This Young Couple Fell on Hard Times, Their Small Community Banded Together to Talk Shit Behind Their Backs”

  1. I’m really trying to understand this story.
    ..I know that it’s satire, but it’s still really hard to understand if it is supposed to be read in the opposite way it is presented, income outage, it what?

    1. Get your shit together people. Support each other and your friends. Life is too short. You may be on the short end some day.

Leave a Reply