Foxboro, MA – A new report from the Institute of Sports Research reveals some unsurprising statistics about Patriots fans in the state of Maine.
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According to a survey of 5,500 Pats fans in Maine, nearly a quarter of Maine women say they would happily leave their spouses for Tom Brady, with slightly more Maine men saying they would do the same.
“Oh, no question,” said Jerry Albert of Mapleton. “The guy just knows what he’s doing. He got us back from trailing 28 – 3 to win the Super Bowl,” Albert said.
“I have to imagine that sort of determination and football IQ would translate to a thoughtful lover.”
Maine women and men in the survey both cited Brady’s dopey smile and unassuming nature as major points of attraction.
“He’s the best there is. That has to mean he’d be the best husband. He could lead us untold marital championships.”
People across the state agree Tom Brady would make a great husband to anyone.
“Guy was a sixth round pick,” said Rev. Tom Oulette of Jackman. “Now he’s the greatest quarterback to ever have played the game. In many ways he is the stone the builders rejected.”
Almost 100% of men and women surveyed outside New England believe Tom Brady would be a terrible spouse, citing an unproven belief he would cheat on them.