Hottest Temps of 2019 Prompt Maine’s Dads to Work on Their Woodpiles

Statewide – While much of the United States is in the grips of a heatwave, thousands of dads in Maine believe conditions are ideal for splitting and stacking wood.

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“It’s the weekend and for once I got nothing else to do, nothing’s good on TV and there’s no holidays coming up,” said Maine dad Peter Levesque of Bethel. “Wood’s not going to stack itself.”

“All them unsplit logs have been driving me about crazy, so today’s the day they finally get taken care of.”

Gerry Smith of Houlton shares Levesque’s views on splitting, and neatly stacking, his enormous woodpile today rather than a different weekend.

“Might rain next Saturday for all I know. I’m not working outside in that,” Smith said.

“Sure, it’s hot today, but come February we’ll be begging for a day like today,” said Machias dad Rick Maker.

“Might just as well get things started sooner rather than later,” he added.

With severe heat advisories across much of the state today, Maine’s sons and daughters say they aren’t surprised at the overwhelming urgency of Maine’s fathers for tending the woodpile.

“He picks the hottest day of the summer just so he can tell everyone down to the store about how he worked stacking wood on the hottest day of the summer,” said Jennifer Thierault of Caribou.

Thierault said her father is planning to wait until a day when the forecast calls for 100% chance of afternoon rain to bale and stack hay “so he can tell everyone how fast we had to chuck the bales on the trailer to get ahead of the rain.”

The woodpile Levesque is working on today is for wood he plans to burn in the winter of 2024.

“Don’t want to fall behind,” he said.


9 thoughts on “Hottest Temps of 2019 Prompt Maine’s Dads to Work on Their Woodpiles”

  1. Best people on earth are the Country hicks, I know because I’m one of them. So there you PECKERHEADS. Sam

  2. Better hide it chum, either Portland’s Strimling will commandeer it or Mills will tax the piss out of it! Fuck Mills /Fuck Ethan

  3. These hit the right note (excruciating but right). The political ones not so much. Thanks for the smile.

  4. My father always picked the hottest days for us to go collect his hay bales in trucks without air-conditioning. I so miss those days when hay seeds stuck to my sweaty body and how many of those seeds found their way into the crack of my butt and other uncomfortable places. Ah, those were the good times!

  5. True Mainahs ahh not happy unless we do everything wickid haahd. Just gives us even more things other than the weather to complain about. If you are happy here. You must be from away. A proud 4th generation Mainah I am mistah.

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