Connecticut Plankton Found in Gulf of Maine Unmistakable Sign of Ocean Gentrification

Gulf of Maine – An alarming new study from the Ocean Policy and Research Institute (OPRI) shows Maine’s sea water may have already exceeded previously forecast gentrification levels.

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More Connecticut and New York-based plankton are showing up in colonies of the microorganisms in the last 10 years than in the previous 20, according to OPRI.

“Even one of these organisms in an established colony is cause for alarm,” said lead researcher Gerry Ouellette.

“While the rest of the plankton are too busy converting light into energy through photosynthesis, the invasive plankton take up leadership roles in the colonies.”

Once established, the Connecticut plankton begin changing the way the colony behaves.

“They set about immediately changing the rules of the colony, making it more attractive for subsequent Connecticut, New York, and Massachusetts plankton.”

They accomplish this by making it too costly for the native plankton to survive.

“Most native plankton lack the stored resources to stop photosynthesis even for a few hours, so they’re forced to move to less desirable locations where resources are less costly.”

One of the most alarming signs of ocean gentrification observed is a bloom of microbreweries appearing where historically none have existed, along with other telltale signs.

“Even colonies we thought were unattractive to Connecticut plankton are now littered with art galleries.”


3 thoughts on “Connecticut Plankton Found in Gulf of Maine Unmistakable Sign of Ocean Gentrification”

  1. Native plankton have responded to the attack by raising local property taxes for education of their young to the point that invasive species are forced to leave the area.

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