New Law Makes It Illegal to Flip Through a Huge 200-Page CD Binder at Stop Lights

Augusta – Facing what lawmakers call a “scourge” of distracted driving, the Maine State legislature passed a new bill to fine drivers caught looking for a copy of Skynyrd’s Greatest Hits CD in their car, even when stopped.

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“Ultimately, the law is about stopping distracted drivers,” said Deputy John Smith of the Maine State Troopers.

“Not a day goes by I don’t see someone stopped at a stop sign, looking for a Led Zeppelin CD or trying to remember which Shania album has ‘Man I Feel Like a Woman,” Smith said.

“A lot of people think it’s ‘The Woman In Me,’ but it’s actually her subsequent album ‘Come On Over.'”

Smith said in the time it takes to figure out the mistake, disaster could strike. Lawmakers and policy experts suggest drivers purchase 6 disc changing systems, with a list of state-approved installers forthcoming.

Critics say the law is another example of Maine trying to solve a problem that no longer exists.

“It’s like the law requiring cable companies to offer individual channels. Hasn’t anyone in Augusta heard of internet streaming?” said one critic.

Still, Smith stands by the law.

“People in Maine need to be safe out there. Stopping to change to 311’s self-titled album is a dangerous distraction, especially if you can’t remember if you alphabetized it by name or by number.”

Smith also said the law is an important way for the state to raise revenue.

“I’m a cop, so if I say I saw you flipping through your giant CD case, good luck convincing a judge I was wrong. Just pay your $50 fine when told, like a good citizen.”


11 thoughts on “New Law Makes It Illegal to Flip Through a Huge 200-Page CD Binder at Stop Lights”

    1. Every true Skynyrd or Zep fan knows they only sound good on Memorex tape blasting from a Beretta with the T-tops open and the walmart neon glow strips pulsing to the beat. CDs… pfft, flatlander.

  1. I can’t believe there going to give me a ticket just because I’m going through my 150 CD’s at a red light looking for more Roy Orbison…Peckerheads.

  2. Please tell me the comment from the crooked cop wasn’t actually part of the official news article. I believe he should get in trouble for pumping up their revenue. He can’t just stop people and claim they looked through their CDs. First they would need to consider if you even have CDs in your car. If I tell a judge I don’t even have CDs I would trust judge would give the cop a ticket for excessive use of his authority. I’m from New England and a lot of my family is still in Maine. I love Maine! I may have to reconsider moving there next year..

  3. Pro-Tip: Keep Bad Boys by Inner circle qued up in the changer.. as soon as you see the door swing open hit play.

  4. I got an 8-track tape of The Fugs from a purveyor of fine music at a back table in the Arundel flea market behind the Tradewinds on Route 1 on my way back up to Bryant Pond. I actually purchased “Montavanni’s Movie Themes” and “Sonny and Cher” from the same guy. I loved it for the first week, bringing back to life my Muntz underdash 8-track player in my Red ’69 El Camino (the passenger door is yellow, btw), however, the “Fugs” tape is now stuck and it will only play “Super Girl” and half of “Dirty Old Man”, before repeating. Now I’m back listening to Classic Rock on the only 5 stations I receive. So, I guess I’m out of harm’s way, and free from arrest.

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