Midcoast — Thanks to everyone for the amazing support and love in the brief time New Maine News has existed.
Unfortunately I no longer have the time to dedicate to New Maine News, so I’m putting the site on permanent hiatus. That’s a non-committal way of saying “it’s over” while still keeping the door open for an eventual reboot, one that will probably never happen.
Again, thank you all for making this something people talked about in and around the state of Maine. It’s been wild. Way crazier than I imagined it would ever be. Seriously.
I don’t plan to stop doing comedy, or Maine comedy, and I’m open for collaborations or writing really tone-deaf opinion columns for the Portland Press Herald, since that seems pretty popular.
You can follow me on Twitter or Instagram, or my check out my new job as tech and commerce editor at IGN.com, or follow me on Flickr. Or not. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. You can still reach me at the contact link on this page, or directly at email@example.com.
You’re all wonderful and I love you each individually. Please remember to cast your write-in vote for me this fall for Maine’s next, and best-ever, governor.
East Millinocket– One of Maine’s most famous off-the-grid landmarks was torn down to make way for a new gun shop, but that doesn’t mean fans of the establishment didn’t get one last thrill.
Continue reading “Legendary Maine Topless Bar Ground to Dust, Snorted by Former Patrons”
Sherman — Family members are concerned local grandmother Millicent Packer won’t be able to make the adjustment to her new prepaid cell phone.
Continue reading “Maine Grandma Still Can’t Get Used to Dialing More Than Four Numbers”
Coastal Areas– Informal surveys of members Maine’s commercial lobster industry paints a grim picture of the future.
Continue reading “For 107th Straight Year, Lobstermen Predict Worst Season in History”
Brooks — People in this Waldo county town are reeling after a new member of the community, originally from Massachusetts, was described favorably by those who’ve met him.
Continue reading “Controversial Report Claims New Neighbor From Away ‘Actually Pretty Good Guy’”
South Thomaston — Cade Pease is like most of the other kids in his 5th grade class: he loves Pokemon, Marvel’s Avengers, and naively believing there’s a future for him here in the midcoast.
Continue reading “Meet the 8th-Generation Coastal Maine Kid With No Idea He Won’t be Able to Afford to Live Here When He Grows Up”
Ellsworth — Terry Beal, owner of Beal’s Used Automotive Center, doesn’t know if his business will be able to recover from its recent tragedy.
Continue reading “Entire Car Dealership Inventory Crushed Under Enormous American Flag”
Statewide — With the weather finally showing promise of spring, Mainers across the state are putting away their snow shovels and getting their spring-cleaning tools ready.
Continue reading “Primestar Satellite Dish Removal Tops Maine Dads’ Spring To-Do Lists for 20th Straight Year”
Belfast — The Pampered Pup, a store specializing in handmade soaps for dogs, wants people to know all are welcome inside.
Continue reading “Inclusionary Welcome Sign Not Expanding Diversity of People Shopping at Artisan Dog-Soap Store”
Vinalhaven — A lobster with a blue shell is a rarity, with just one in a million of the crustaceans having the shade. For local beat reporters, it’s a cause for celebration.
Continue reading “Rare Blue Lobster Saves Ordinary Slow News Day”