Maine Lawmakers Satisfied Legal Pot Laws are Nowhere Near What People Wanted

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A large building in the background

Augusta — Almost 18 months since Maine voters approved the legalization of recreational marijuana use by a narrow margin, Maine’s lawmakers are confident they’ve really done a number on it.

“We are extremely pleased by how badly we really mangled what people voted for,” one legislator said of the new laws.

“People voted for 6 plants, and we reduced that number. That’s what’s nice about democracy, we can just go ahead and ignore it when it suits our needs.”

Governor Paul LePage, who threatened to veto any pot laws as long as it’s still illegal at the federal level, feels great about the way things have turned out.

“No one is getting what they want, and everyone is mad about it,” the outgoing governor said. “That’s called compromise,” he said.

Maine’s estimated 1 million pot users aren’t happy, but unfortunately the kind nugs currently available thanks to modern growing techniques has rendered them too mellow to do anything about it.

One Winterport man said he was going to start a grassroots campaign to get rid of the influences of corporate America, but unfortunately lost his train of thought as the second edible he ate finally kicked in.

He did report being “friggin roasted,” however.